As a devout follower of The Great Old One i cannot let this slip. Join us !
Why vote for a lesser evil ?
"Are you tired of partisan rhetoric and lying, devious executives who can't keep true to what they claimed they would do on the campaign trail? Then come 2008, vote for the one candidate who doesn't flip-flop: The Lord of the Abyss, King of Despair and Master of Carnage, Great Cthulhu.
Cthulhu has one goal: the complete destruction of all existence, and you can be sure he won't cut-and-run until nothing is left. Mission accomplished. Cthulhu supports compromise on a variety of issues.
Abortion? To please the right, Cthulhu supports the nation-wide banning of abortion. However, for those who want their right to choose, a government initiative will be set up: In the place of an abortion Cthulhu will eat your unborn baby. (Note: Baby consumption may be mandatory)
For the war in Iraq? Against it? Cthulhu will lash out with his infinite tendrils and eradicate all life in the Middle-East. The war on terror is won, and we get to bring our troops back home (those that escape before said eradication).
All in all, you can't afford not to vote for Cthulhu. Because if you don't, you'll be the first to be fed to him once he takes power.
Just kidding! We'll all be first. "
Here is Great Cthulhus political platform: http://www.cthulhu.org/cthulhu/positions.html
IÆ! IÆ! Cthulhu f`tagn !
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