Words of wisdom, and the meaning of Karma.

"What happens to me is a result of Karma. I have freewill in terms of how I react to what happens to me - how i let it affect me, and what actions i let it inspire. I am the architect of my own destiny - my own karma. What I do now will make me the person I am 5 minutes from now, tomorow, next year, next life. I have full freedom to elevate or degrade myself."

Vic_DiCara - 108

Anna Ternheim concert

You missed the following songs (not i played order & i maaaay have forgotten a song or two) :

Girl laying down, Today is a good day, Such a lonely soul, Lovers dream, Feels like sand, Tribute to Linn, Wedding song, One to blame, Halfway to fivepoints, To be gone, Better be, I´ll follow you tonight, Bring down like i, A french love.

Encore: Calling Love & Shoreline (of course!).

Great show, if you have the chance; go see her!
I will live on this for a while.....

Oh, i almost forgot. Before the show started they played Johnny Cash´s album "American 5: A Hundred Highways" through the PA...Anna does really have taste..great album. Johnny Cash is a formidable person to be compare with, but Anna pulled it through. Not that they sound anything alike. You get the picture.
Ok, i am tired right now, you know what i mean ;)

A new list

This is what i have been listening to lately:

Anna Ternheim "Somebody Outside" + the other songs Henrik sent me .

The Cardigans "Super Extra Gravity"

Arcturus "La Masquerade Infernale"

The Misfits "Evilive" + "American Psycho"

Stolen..

...from Annas blogg, sue me dear ;)

1. Take your nearest book and get page 18, the fourth row..what does it say?
"Senare såg han i den till och med ett begynnade frö till en diffus skyttegravssocialism. Röhm ansågs vara en rå kämpe" Guido Knopp: SS - Ondskans Redskap"

2. Reach out your left arm as far as you can, what do you touch?
My Bed.

3. What was the last you saw on TV?
I watched one of my favorite documentaries on DVD
"The Eruption of Mt.Saint-Helens".

4. Guess without watching, what time it is?
22.45

5. Except for your computer, what does you hear right now?
The sound of me coughing and nothing more.

6.When was the last time you were outdoors, and what did you do then?
Around noon, when i was buying food. Home sick today.

7. What did you watch before you started before doing this survey?
http://www.uikfans.se/forum/

8. Did you dream anything last night? In that case, what?
I was having a fever...so i dreamt very strange dreams..that is all i remember.

10. When was the last time you laughed?
Tonight while watching my turtles Faye-Sibel and Anna.

11. What is on the walls in the room that you are in now?
4 posters: Cecilia Cheung, The Misfits tour poster, Thor beating the crap out of giants and last a poster with the chinese character for "love".

12. Have you seen anything strange lately?
I always manage to see strange things.

13. What do you think of this challenge?
Challenge???

14. Which were the last movie you saw?
Silent Hill (if not the abovementioned documentary counts)

15. If you became a multibillionaire, what would you buy?
A bigger apartment, after that probably too much junk that would force me to buy a bigger apartment..the cycle is endless. Haha.

16. Tell something about yourself that most people do not know.
I am very interested in the weather & weatherforecasts.

17. If you could change ONE thing in the world, without thinking about politics and guilt, what would that be?
Hard one, but i guess that everyone would be happy and free in their place of choice.

18. Do you like to dance?
I do not have it in me.

19. George Bush?
I will not take part in the Bush-bashing of today. Nor do i support him. He is the symbol and the figurehead..the tip of an iceberg.

20-21.What would your children be named, boy and girl.
Sture and Hedvig ( i kid you not).

22. Would you consider living abroad?
I am.

23. What do you want God to say to you when you reach the pearly gates?
I know you did what you could.

Anna...

....can be one of the most annoying persons ever, and still being kind of wonderful. Haha, there is something in contradictions. Forza Anna!

An update...

...will have to wait. Just too much to do.

Probably i will ignore the last month (or refer to it in "flashbacks" so to speak) as i do not have the time to write it all down. Time shall tell.

The hour is late, the rain is falling, autumn is here and GG Allin is still (to my knowledge at least) very much dead. Wether that is a good thing i leave to the experts to find out.

Hahaha where did the part about ole GG come in? Oh crap , i am more tired than i thought..gotta sleep.

I end with a quote...or no..cannot find a good one right now..i think i will pass. There went my intellectual reputation..haha. I shall strike back..moahaha.

*ZZZzzZZzZzzzZzzzzz*

Just some music...

• Samael - Ceremony of Opposites
• Mozart (Slovak Philharmonic Orchestra and Chorus) - Requiem
• Integrity - Humanity is the Devil
• Johnny Cash - American V: A Hundred Highways
• GG Allin - Banned in Boston part 1
• Lush - Gala
• Fabio Frizzi - The Beyond

If you were less like me, i know we would.

So, my week off is over, back to work again.
But the good thing is that i have ordered the tickets for going away in, two weeks. One less problem.

I have not slept well for the whole week, i hope i can blame that on the full moon. Because this week i am going to get the results of my bloodtests i did last week. "Danger! Danger!" as Steve Irwin would have said..if he were still with us. I find it hard to accept that he is gone.

This sunday it is election-time in sweden, and i have been trying to avoid all the bullshitting and lying..i have decided what to vote for a long time ago (yes, i am a good concerned citizen that votes). What i vote for is not your business...but some seem shocked that i am not a left-winger..haha. Well let me tell you this, i have nothing but contempt for the leftwing-mentality. There is always some other that must do what YOU should do. Leftwing-mentaly drives forth the laziness and "that is not MY concern..it is someone elses job" attitude.

Me, i think that responsibility is a key word. Take responsibility for your actions, for what you say and what you do. Do not hide behind that what seems convenient, do not be afraid of taking the longer path, do not rush forward blindly and missing everything that which is not in your straight ahead view.

Just stop...and think.

Thank you for your attention and good night.

Fabio Frizzi...

...is an interesting myth:

He is not existing..it is just an nom-de-guerre for Vincenzo Tempera

He is the brother of Fabrizio Frizzi (who seems to be the Ricky Lake of Italy ??)

He IS Fabrizio Frizzi !

But to me he is the composer of one of my absolutly favorite soundtracks ever: The Beyond ( or "E tu vivrai nel terrore... l’aldilà!" as is the original italian title)

It is an old italian psychedelic zombiemovie (not really, but i cannot find another way to describe it..). But that does not prepare anyone for the music...strings, flutes, choires, piano, bass, drums, Mellotrons..Yes you´ve got it..it is progressive & symphonic. But not in the boring self-obsessed way that was common in the 70s.

Nonono, this is a completly different beast. Actually, it is very sinister and scary but also melodic..i loved it when i heard it the first time..and i love it now.
Fabio is a real genious at using repeating themes, but always with a new angle. It never get to musical masturbation, very few and sparse solos. And he never abandons the songs for the instruments andthe sound is smooth and organic. What more can you one ask for?

I remember (well, kind of) about five years ago when i got home from the pub..i fell asleep on the floor when i got home while listening to this highly addictive (as in bloody good, pun intended) piece of music. It took me some years to get hold of the music on CD...at last i found it on a american site for the crazy price of 600 SEK..i did not hesitate for a second since it was an limited edition promo (with the music from The Gates of Hell also on it). Now you can find it on Amazon.com for 15 bucks, but that is another story ;)
One of the few CDs in my collection that i probably never get rid of..and one of the first i would save in case of a fire. It is just such wonderful and different music that gives me a feeling that almost no other record can give me .The only others i can remember right now is:

Mayhem "De Mysteriis Dom Sathanas" (THE Black Metal record if you ask me)

Burzum "Daudi Baldrs" (pagan ambient?)

Bo Hansson "Sagan om ringen/Lord of the Rings" (space-jazz??)


This is autumn music. So now you know.

:(

http://www.abc.net.au/brisbane/stories/s1732538.htm

R.I.P. Steve..your legacy will never die.

The work you have done will be continued by others..but noone can replace you.

http://www.worldtributes.com/tributes/steveirwin.php

What to say, what to do?

"The dream had to end
The wish never came true
And the girl
Starts to sing"

(The Cure - Seventeen Seconds)

Perhaps i should remove the last two posts you think?

But i stand for what i feel and think..for good and bad.

Now it is friday..and on sunday is the most important game of year for us. The judgement hour for us, if we want/going to stay in division 1. It seems that i have at last gotten rid of whatever that was infecting my body.
According to the coach i will be in 2 special teams (kick-off and kick-return)..i will do my very best to knock out the lights of everything that comes in my way !!!!!

Otherwise nothing have changed....one more week to work..then one week off. Working two weeks after that..then 3 weeks of. Going to watch soccer..and going home to look for work.

Wish me luck. I need it.

want

All i wanted was to disappear.

Statement.

How is wish, that yesterday never happend.

But when thinking back, i realize i was wrong.
I wish that the last two months never happened.

Because almost all that matters to me...have gone away.

But i know this; the old me is dead and gone. And he will never come back no matter what. I know that road now, and i know the price is much more than too high.

I NEVER take anything for granted, i MUST keep marching onwards...Now that i have lost hope, i just have to do without.

Well whatever...i will stop my whining here.

Have a nice day and i hope YOU had a good summer.

"Listen my friend,

as no one wanted to hear i´m telling you now.

So weak was my hope, so cold the world around,

so strong the calls." (Samael).

Right now, things are a bit heavy....and i do not have much to say. Some things demands a thousand words to be explained..otherwise it will not do .

In my sleep. In my dreams.

"I just rose up from blackest seas. My eyes were opened so widely. And it´s a shame to end this way. " (Lush)

Nothing much to tell, really. I am getting slowly better..and i am waiting to have vacation for a week. I need rest, and travel somewhere if i can. In late september i have vague plans for taking some real time off...i guess we will have to see what happens.

Well, you get the picture.

None what so ever

Today can be a good day, i have not slept this good for what seems like weeks. I could tell you why, but i chose not to..for time being. But it does not contain chemical substances ( btw, i hate drugs/pills in all forms..even if they are for headaches only). It has more to to do with mental relief than anything else.

I only hope it continues this way..but jaded as i am, i have not expectations at all. I have learned the hard way not to take anything for granted. I do not want to be a cynic, but it is hard to not think that way. I have to work on that.

If things had been as normal, i would have been in Tyresö now playing football...but that was not to be. But 3 more games to play before the season is over.

Now i have got to get breakfast..i am starving! That is actually a good sign, mind you...at least for me.

Hopefully, can start looking forward now..so perhaps there will be more action here in the future.

No rest for the wicked..and no rest for me.

To put it short, almost everything have gone downhill since last time. No motivation...i am always tired.

I was at Storsjöyran last weekend..best thing that have happened me the last half year. Met up with old friends. Something happened that made me feel...alive again. If i may be so melodramatic..haha. But seriously..it was really nice. It felt really depressing going home again. Working on monday was really, really, REALLY a challenge. But what to do? Just keep on toiling, and looking forward to going home this autumn.

Things they are a-moving

First things first: After work i went straight home....got hold of Stefan who came over to pic up the drums and the flags for tonights soccergame between UIK and Hammarby. I had to go to the gym before the game...and did not want to carry it around there.

When i got to the gym it was PACKED...both IBK Dalens men and female team was there. How did i know except for the uniformed dresscode? Well, i thought recognized one of their backs (Helena Marklund). I was not sure...so when i was finised training i just hade to go and ask. And yes, it was her.

Me: Do you not play in Dalen?
Helena: Yes :) *big smile*
Me: Yes, i was sure i had seen you before :) Marklund, right?
Helena: Yes :) *still smiling*.

I do "thumbs up" and go to stretch. I hear her (and probably her teammates) giggle as i go ;) I seem to have brightened up their lives..haha

The UIK game? UIK won 8-0 :) UIK is the best!

Gotta sleep now, up early.

Not dead yet....

...i have simply had too much to do, Huskies and UIK are really taking all my time when i am not working or sleeping. Now things will calm down the next month..so i might have some time for writing here.

Btw, no vacation for me this summer...i am going home to search for a new job later this year instead.

After all, a good day

The bad things first, i am not well..but i have to work the nightshift.

The good thing..the police have caught "Hagamannen", the infamous serialrapist.

So my complaints have little weight :)
It feels good to know that he is where he belongs...behind bars! :)

Been a while...

...so much to do.

Also i have not been all too well either..injuries and things like that. Too much have happened, but few things of importance, really.

I really want spring to be here now.

Hello, it have been a while since last time.But things happen (and do not happen at the same time!) and and there is not much to do about it. Since last tiem i have managed to get injured during training, getting a new turtle, working & i have tried to make myself busy and not being so much home. Have i succeeded? Well, partially at least.

Where shall i start? Injuries i think. Exactly three weeks ago today i fall during full-contact traing..and injured my knee. The "funny" thing was that it was not during playing....but when i fell and tried to land safely. How typical of me. I could not work for 4 days. And no traing for over 2 weeks. I did go to the hospital for x-ray..and at least the was no fracture. I started traing a little this monday, and i have gotten a lot better since then...but it still aches..so i have to be careful. Hopefully it is gone soon! :)

Now, the turtle story. My new turle is a celebrity ;) They found him under the ice in on eof the rivers north of Umeå a few months ago..he was on the headline in the local newspaper ;) Marianne at Atlantis aquarium suggestet that i should get in touch with Holmsund Naturehistorical Museum (about a mile south of Umeå) to see if the have gotten any turtles that people had given to them. And i got ther famous one ;) Just one problem..i had decided to buy a female...and had alreday given her a name. Faye (after you-know who;) ).
But my friend Anna from Stockholm simply INSISTED that she should be called Sibel.And since she is a very "persuative ;)" person we agreed that Faye-Sibel should be the official name. Then i found out the it was a he..so Faye-Sibel is now offical a transvestite...haha..that is compromise for you !

Also i have found myself a sport to follow when football is off-season: Floorball. Keeps the abstinence away..haha.So i spend some time watchinmg the homegames...it is good to have someting to do..not just training and being home in front of the comp ;)

Now what i have been listening to lately:
Minor Threat: Complete Discography
Marduk: Panzer Division Marduk
Juno Reactor: The Bible of Dreams
Mayhem: De Mysteriis Dom Sathanas
Björk: Medúlla

And offcourse there have been a lot of Jasmin "Blümchen" Wagner !

Until next time, take care.

Words unknown....

At last the holidays are over. Nothing much have been done, at least nothing of interest. Seldom have an christmas & new year been so genuinely boring. I wish i had slept it all away. I say this, it will not happen again.
Training have also been suffering because of this %/&%/&%/&% !!!

So, right now my life is a void. This blogg reflects that.