Ho Hum.

Right now, things are a bit...complicated.

No details here, you will have to wait (haha!).

But strangely enough i feel...confident.
My experience with that is not promising at all, but some day it must turn.
Right?

Off to work. See ya !

Just some stuff.

Added one large and some small new things on the blogg. Good luck hunting.

status

I live, i tell you. I LIVE !

Just busy working...gaah.

still life

Well, i am not dead..yet.
But have been severly busy for a very long time now.

Been working for the same company for 11 months now..and just got the contract until the beginning of august. After that it will be..nervous.
But then again..how will they manage without me? ;)

Now that i am settled i feel at ease. Good to be home. Just that steady work that is missing (on a personal level, things can still improve..but then again without steady employment things are much harder).

I just take things as they come :)

What is it about Cliff Burton ?

Since i am taking the bike to work the weeks that i work afternoons i usally listen to musik on my cellphone. Otherwise it gets quite boring..1,3 miles are boring enough. Takes me about 45-50 minutes (lots of ups and downhill i can tell you that much).

Well, last wednesday i happened to have my playlist "Metallica instrumentals" going. So, when i was on my way home and the song "To Live is to Die" started it just started pouring down...HARD ! And it kept going all the way home..i was really soaked. Well, well...shit happens. I guess the raingods wanted to express their feelings on his untimely death.

So, the next day was was on my steelhorse once again..same playlist as the night before. Got to the same place..once again "To Live is to Die" was on. And then the sky fell down on me....again. Ten times worse than the night before. The rain was down in torrents, thunder was flashing and the wind almost blew me off the road. Totally crazy. (It kept raining the whole evening,and when riding home the wind was so hard that i had too keep pushing downhill because i had the wind against me the whole way home (add rain to that, mind you).)

Even the weather gods pay homage to Cliff Burton.

("To Live is to Die" is the last Metallica song that is credited to Cliff. It is a song the put together with unused riffs he left behind. Quite emotional song, for an instrumental.)

As usual..

..i always return here when i am beaten down.

But it will pass i guess.

"Voices hard and hollow
Colder than I ever was before.
I'm leaving you pieces
Of love to come for more"

Some updates..

I have been working quite hard lately....since the end of february things have sped up & for the last two weeks i have been working like a maniac, actually. Even week-ends and overtime. So much that yesterday i had to ask to have the friday off for getting some rest over the weekend. Today they called and told me that they needed me to work saturday & sunday to at least tuesday. Well, it is better than having no work at all. And since it also is good money.....i do not complain ;)

What we all have been waiting for....

Enough said !

The time has come !

Oh shut up, i am full !!!!

Christmas = eating..right?
I have been eating like crazy...i think i will go up to the barn and pick up my runningshoes.
Will feel good to break new running-grounds here i Norway..many new roads to discover out here in the backwaters (Brunlanes). So, what will i do until then? Well..eating i guess...and listening to the audiobook-version of Tolkien`s "The Silmarillion"...10 CD-box.
And on sunday the hockey starts again.

Gotta keep myself busy :)

See y`all !

Well, things are moving slow right now. As expected right before the holidays.
But as always, i am plotting and planning ;)

Got a little gadget from last.fm to the right, for you to enjoy ;)
See y`all !

Some reflections...

Well, i had it all planned out, didn`t i? Yes, except for one thing.
The one thing that hooked me to Umeå, floorball.
It did not really hit until my last game working for the Dalen Ladies, which i had done for some 2-3 years (not quite sure, actually).
Before the game started they had me come out on the gamefloor to recieve a game-shirt which the whole team had signed and applauded me for my work.
At that point i really did not want to move at all....and still i miss them all immensly (hey, is that the way to write it?). UIK & Malmø FF i can always see on TV when it comes to that, Redhawks have their live-report over the net...but Dalen is a different thing, everyone who worked with them are such a wonderful team. I will go see Dalen`s away-games as often as i can.....but they are the one team that i will really MISS. Actually, i have missed them since even before moving. It just did not hit me before that very day. I wish you all the best girls, and hope to see you often ! It is hard to put words on feelings like these...





Thanks to Jimmy Halldin for the picture !

Working on it, dammit!

Living in Norway now, been here for about a week. Lots of things to take care of !
So do not expect me to write here to often for some time to come (as if that is possible ;) )

The beast still lives...

Big MAN

"It's great if you can do it, it doesn't take a lot
Just means you must destroy what sensitivity you've got.
Cos man is spelt big M.A.N. it's the letters of the law
Man is spelt big M.A.N. that's who the law is for
You see there's lots of chances in this land of hope and glory
Try and make your own rules, that's a different story
If you're a man, you'd better act like one
Develop your muscles, use your prick like a gun
Fuck anything that moves, but never pay the price
Steal, fuck, slaughter, that's their advice
Are you man enough? Ask the posters on the walls
Have you got what it takes? Guts and balls?
Keep your myth of manhood, it's been going on too long
A history of slaughter is the proof that it is wrong
Big man, big M.A.N., big man, big M.A.N., big wrong
Big man, big M.A.N., big man, big M.A.N.
Big man, J.O.K.E.
Big man, what a fucking joke"

At last !

Now it is final...cancelled my contract for my apartment today. In 3 months i must be in Norway..otherwise i have nowhere to live ;)

Now the adventure begins :)

pheeew

Time sure runs fast !

This week i am signing the paper for the apartment...so by the last of november i will have left Umeå. Been working like a madman for the last 5 weeks... 9,5 hours every day, 5 days a week. But that ended yesterday, and from monday on it is back to normal, at last.

At the end of october i will be resigning from work..and after that only 4 weeks left..hahaha.

I will miss some things (and persons!) up here, but in the long run i am sure that i am doing the right thing. As a i have grown to loathe the place i am working at (or, more precisely the way they (try to) run things), i see no future there.

Am i nervous? Of course i am ! But also damned excited.

News from Norway

Been here for a week now, and after being around the jobcenters i have been working for a couple of days now. All (4) of them promises that i will get a steady job if i come here in august when the holidays are over. So now i am looking at the practical arrangments...how to get my stuff down here, how to get rid of my present apartment, how to get a new apartment and how to get to work when i am here (since ï have neither a car or a driving licence). But things are moving on...and i have about 2 weeks left to figure it out :)

Take care.

Happy holidays !

Today it is "midsommarafton" in Sweden (Midsummers eve) so i hope you who reads this will have a very nice day :)

Me, myself i am going to a party at Leffeman`s place.

Take care you all !

And yes, this monday my vacation begins..and this thursday i am on the train home. At last !

Almost there....

...just one week until the holidays, then another 6 days until i am going home :)

Already now it feels depressing going back to work after the holidays are over. But i am planning on a quick retuen...and staying ! Got some some work to do and some things to discuss..but it feels like i have finally come to a decision. My gut-feeling is that i want to move home as fast as i can, but with that said i can wait for a while also, because my mind is set.

Got 3 weeks at home to solidify my decision. But as of right now....Norway here i come !!!

How the once mighty have fallen...

Now, what is the goal that dictates your life.
And does that eventual goal in any way limit you ?

Hard question, no doubt, but a very interesting one.

Sometimes i wonder if goals are getting so important to people because it gives them the chance to NOT think about other unpleasant things.

I myself always strive forwards i my own way. Because i know that stagnation is not an option, as it only leads to degeneration and decline. Call it restlessness if you will, i do not mind. But there is always a price to pay.
So, is the price worth it? I really do not know, and since i know no other way i am probably as clueless as you are.

Da svedanja !

??

How come it is always find myself here when my mind is spinning ?
How come it is always in the face of paranoia ?

As i feel the precence of that old enemy of mine, i just wish i could be gone, away, somewhere else. Someplace empty, someplace tranquil, someplace comforting, someplace warm.

Now this litany is relieving, but is it not releasing..there seems to be none as far as i can see. Being in a state of....void? No, the antis without the pros? No, not really. Just a slip in time and space, a crack in my perception of the world. A long stare at the sight of time passing by reneltlessly in an utterly alien world gone mad. Is this to be? Was this an omen or a flashback? So many questions that race, so much broken communications. The cost of rebellion is indeed high, the scars run as my ramblings goes ever on without getting to the point. Because the ultimate question is really: is there a point at all.

I am not trying to be deep, quite opposite. The more you try to define things with words, the more they slip away and become...banal.
And this is where we all fail.
And i failed utterly here.

Yours sincerely.