What we all have been waiting for....

Enough said !

The time has come !

Oh shut up, i am full !!!!

Christmas = eating..right?
I have been eating like crazy...i think i will go up to the barn and pick up my runningshoes.
Will feel good to break new running-grounds here i Norway..many new roads to discover out here in the backwaters (Brunlanes). So, what will i do until then? Well..eating i guess...and listening to the audiobook-version of Tolkien`s "The Silmarillion"...10 CD-box.
And on sunday the hockey starts again.

Gotta keep myself busy :)

See y`all !

Well, things are moving slow right now. As expected right before the holidays.
But as always, i am plotting and planning ;)

Got a little gadget from last.fm to the right, for you to enjoy ;)
See y`all !

Some reflections...

Well, i had it all planned out, didn`t i? Yes, except for one thing.
The one thing that hooked me to Umeå, floorball.
It did not really hit until my last game working for the Dalen Ladies, which i had done for some 2-3 years (not quite sure, actually).
Before the game started they had me come out on the gamefloor to recieve a game-shirt which the whole team had signed and applauded me for my work.
At that point i really did not want to move at all....and still i miss them all immensly (hey, is that the way to write it?). UIK & Malmø FF i can always see on TV when it comes to that, Redhawks have their live-report over the net...but Dalen is a different thing, everyone who worked with them are such a wonderful team. I will go see Dalen`s away-games as often as i can.....but they are the one team that i will really MISS. Actually, i have missed them since even before moving. It just did not hit me before that very day. I wish you all the best girls, and hope to see you often ! It is hard to put words on feelings like these...





Thanks to Jimmy Halldin for the picture !

Working on it, dammit!

Living in Norway now, been here for about a week. Lots of things to take care of !
So do not expect me to write here to often for some time to come (as if that is possible ;) )

The beast still lives...

Big MAN

"It's great if you can do it, it doesn't take a lot
Just means you must destroy what sensitivity you've got.
Cos man is spelt big M.A.N. it's the letters of the law
Man is spelt big M.A.N. that's who the law is for
You see there's lots of chances in this land of hope and glory
Try and make your own rules, that's a different story
If you're a man, you'd better act like one
Develop your muscles, use your prick like a gun
Fuck anything that moves, but never pay the price
Steal, fuck, slaughter, that's their advice
Are you man enough? Ask the posters on the walls
Have you got what it takes? Guts and balls?
Keep your myth of manhood, it's been going on too long
A history of slaughter is the proof that it is wrong
Big man, big M.A.N., big man, big M.A.N., big wrong
Big man, big M.A.N., big man, big M.A.N.
Big man, J.O.K.E.
Big man, what a fucking joke"

At last !

Now it is final...cancelled my contract for my apartment today. In 3 months i must be in Norway..otherwise i have nowhere to live ;)

Now the adventure begins :)

pheeew

Time sure runs fast !

This week i am signing the paper for the apartment...so by the last of november i will have left Umeå. Been working like a madman for the last 5 weeks... 9,5 hours every day, 5 days a week. But that ended yesterday, and from monday on it is back to normal, at last.

At the end of october i will be resigning from work..and after that only 4 weeks left..hahaha.

I will miss some things (and persons!) up here, but in the long run i am sure that i am doing the right thing. As a i have grown to loathe the place i am working at (or, more precisely the way they (try to) run things), i see no future there.

Am i nervous? Of course i am ! But also damned excited.

News from Norway

Been here for a week now, and after being around the jobcenters i have been working for a couple of days now. All (4) of them promises that i will get a steady job if i come here in august when the holidays are over. So now i am looking at the practical arrangments...how to get my stuff down here, how to get rid of my present apartment, how to get a new apartment and how to get to work when i am here (since ï have neither a car or a driving licence). But things are moving on...and i have about 2 weeks left to figure it out :)

Take care.

Happy holidays !

Today it is "midsommarafton" in Sweden (Midsummers eve) so i hope you who reads this will have a very nice day :)

Me, myself i am going to a party at Leffeman`s place.

Take care you all !

And yes, this monday my vacation begins..and this thursday i am on the train home. At last !

Almost there....

...just one week until the holidays, then another 6 days until i am going home :)

Already now it feels depressing going back to work after the holidays are over. But i am planning on a quick retuen...and staying ! Got some some work to do and some things to discuss..but it feels like i have finally come to a decision. My gut-feeling is that i want to move home as fast as i can, but with that said i can wait for a while also, because my mind is set.

Got 3 weeks at home to solidify my decision. But as of right now....Norway here i come !!!

How the once mighty have fallen...

Now, what is the goal that dictates your life.
And does that eventual goal in any way limit you ?

Hard question, no doubt, but a very interesting one.

Sometimes i wonder if goals are getting so important to people because it gives them the chance to NOT think about other unpleasant things.

I myself always strive forwards i my own way. Because i know that stagnation is not an option, as it only leads to degeneration and decline. Call it restlessness if you will, i do not mind. But there is always a price to pay.
So, is the price worth it? I really do not know, and since i know no other way i am probably as clueless as you are.

Da svedanja !

??

How come it is always find myself here when my mind is spinning ?
How come it is always in the face of paranoia ?

As i feel the precence of that old enemy of mine, i just wish i could be gone, away, somewhere else. Someplace empty, someplace tranquil, someplace comforting, someplace warm.

Now this litany is relieving, but is it not releasing..there seems to be none as far as i can see. Being in a state of....void? No, the antis without the pros? No, not really. Just a slip in time and space, a crack in my perception of the world. A long stare at the sight of time passing by reneltlessly in an utterly alien world gone mad. Is this to be? Was this an omen or a flashback? So many questions that race, so much broken communications. The cost of rebellion is indeed high, the scars run as my ramblings goes ever on without getting to the point. Because the ultimate question is really: is there a point at all.

I am not trying to be deep, quite opposite. The more you try to define things with words, the more they slip away and become...banal.
And this is where we all fail.
And i failed utterly here.

Yours sincerely.

Krantz

It have been official for a while, but i have not had the heart to think or write about it, but here it comes. Isabell Krantz have left Dalen for a two year contract with Pixbo :(

I wish her all the luck in the world there (except in the matches against Dalen of course ;) )

Hope to see you in Dalen later !

Hon väljer att gå till Pixbo
Player profile

Update 27th of May: She have not signed a 2 year contract, but a 1+1...so she maaaay be back next year. I certainly hope so :)

Lärm - Up to You

"Smoke, get cancer.
Drink, destroy your brains.
One night stands, get herpes.
Straight edge, die in a car accident.
It`s up to you what you choose.
But i don`t want to be a slave"

Evening reflections

So, here i am again. As always things have not gone my way lately, so instead of crying my heart out here i will try another tactic. You see, dear reader, i was thinking this weekend. I was at a party, i does not matter where or with whom, i suddenly had an insight. It was not a revelation of any sort, it was more like i silently surrendered (to use a word much to dramatical) to the fact that i was transparent. I just did not exist in their world. Their world was so alien to me that just my body was there (barely). I did not feel excluded, i was excluding myself. Big difference. All the things and thoughts i have fed to myself for all these hazy years have left me incapable to communicate in a meaningful way. I do not belong to any world, because i always searched for something that does not exist...but it is not until now that i have realised it. Maybe it was like this during my abusive years? I do not know and it does not matter now anyway.

So, where does my rambling lead? Well, i thirst for a "normal" life....but it always slips out of my grasp. My youth is finally catching up with me. Ground zero is here, please take a seat and watch life go by.

At least in the beginning of May, in Umeå, after work and after midnight.
From me to you, i wish you well and thank you for reading all this.

Black weekend

Dalen lost both games against Iksu in the endgame and are out for this year. But we will be back !!!!

Redhawks lost for the fourth times against Røgle this season, this time away in the endgame. Even if that loss was VERY painful, all it is not over....if we win against Mora home today so......

IF Fram

IF Fram have a new homepage....http://www.framfotball.no/

Some breakfast-thoghts...

Have not heard from Magnus, so i guess that it wil not go to Skellefteå. I hope we win the game today...give them hell, girls !!!

Today i will attend a party at Leffemans place, will be fun :)

Anything with the word "back", especially in a relatively funny way ( i am refering to words now)..

For a starter. i while playing floorhockey this friday i seems to have strained my back..AGAIN. Not as bad as last time, thank (deity of choice) for THAT. Now i just have problems with sitting for a longer while...better alreday. So, the naprapath again this friday.

Just got home from watching Dalen play against Endre in Gammliahallen, after they lost by 4-2 (2-2 after the second period). A close game, and Dalen tried to take out the keeper after the 16th minute, since Endre had goaled in the 44th minute. Endre then had (if i remember correcty) 3 hot chances to goal, and in the fourth they succeded. The game looked alot like the game against Täby yesterday (also home), two teams that really wanted to win, and there was very much will and less technique. We won against Täby and lost against Endre. Now we MUST beat the crap out of Skellefteå to get to the endgames.
Players to mention: .Isabell Krantz, Maria Bäckström and Anna Renström.


The last (and decisive) game in the series is next saturnday away against Skellefteå. I am seriously thinking about going there. I know their equipment manager, and i mentioned it to him...and he offered himself to talk to the coach to see if i could go with the team-bus. Feels kind of weird to do so, i must confess, if it goes through